Big Wynn-er

I can't tell you everything about this past weekend because that would be breaking Vegas rule #1...
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS, STAYS IN VEGAS! 

But I can show you what I was able to buy with my winnings!!!  

I'll never tell... Yes I will.  Keep reading.

That's right loyal reader, I won!  How the hell did I do that?  NOBODY WINS IN VEGAS - excluding the free alcohol of course.  Everybody's a winner when you have free booze!  But, HOW DID I WIN???  Well the truth is... The combination of booze and cigarette smoke makes me a mathematical genius like Rain Man or Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover.  The numbers magically appear in a fuzzy haze and suddenly I know how to bet.

LIES!!!

I'm not Rainman, I'm Batman.

 

 

The real truth is... I don't know how I won.  Luck, I guess.  This time I decided to stay away from my normal gambling choices of blackjack tables and slot machines.  I love to split aces and double down but for some reason the casino never lets me have any money to take home.  I need money to buy purses!!!  So this time my partner-in-crime and I focused our attention elsewhere...
The Craps Table. 

Oh craps... that is a LOT of numbers

How the heck do you play that???  Well, I won't bore you with my strategy of placing bets simultaneously on the FIELD as well as ODDS on 5, 6 and 8  - I'll just say that it isn't as hard as it looks.  Craps is actually a really fun game that you can sit and play for a very long time without losing all of the dollar bills that you came to Vegas with.  Just don't roll that 7.

Hey 007, Don't roll a 7

After a fun filled night of rolling dice and high-fiving every person within a 2 mile radius, it was time to get to business.  With my new found fortune burning a hole in my Henri Bendel Debutante Haircalf Clutch (Great for Vegas BTW, lots of rooms to hold your chips!) I needed to decide where I wanted to go shopping. SHOPPING IN VEGAS!!!!  Is there anything better???  NOPE.

The wonderful thing about staying on the north side of the strip is the proximity to all of the fabulous boutiques!  Prada, Vuitton, Dior, CHANEL... They are all there.  Right next door to our hotel, at the WYNN.  It really is shopping heaven. 

I definitely felt like a WYNNER that day

SHOW US THE PURSES!!!   
SHOW US THE PURSES!!!  
SHOW US THE PURSES!!!  

You will have to wait for the story until the next chapter.
Please join me, won't you, for my next installment entitled (mc) QUEEN OF LAS VEGAS

In the meantime please go practice your craps table dice rolling skills at the nearest casino.