Oh Bloody Hell

Do you remember when I said this???  "Don't buy a designer bag on eBay... ever!"  Yeah, that should go for selling too.  What a bunch of moron buyers!  Here's what I'm dealing with today...

SOLD!
Alexander McQueen
Small De Manta Clutch in Bronze Leather.
Gorgeous and BRAND NEW!
Retail: $895.00 US

I'd recently sold the very same clutch in SILVER to a buyer on a designer consignment website.  Feeling optimistic, I purchased another NEW McQueen clutch in BRONZE to sell for some more profit.  Side note, it was a hell of a sale... I should have bought all of them!  Oh well.

I didn't want the consignment website to raise an eyebrow as to why I was hoarding De Manta clutches, so I threw it on eBay.  And it sold - to a Brit no less.

Great.

I feel just great.  Flipper extraordinaire. I'm so smart!  Best business-woman ever.

NOPE. 

Not even minutes later, I received a message from yip, yip, cherrio cheapskate about how "I'll pay when I can.  Right oh."

Seriously?

Seriously.

eBay allows "buyers" to BUY IT NOW yet not pay for it now.  What the F is that about!??!  I've even taken the time out of my day to sit on hold with the eBay phone reps to question why it is that they allow such a thing.  Because, they do.  It's total BS!

It has now been ONE WEEK since that bag "sold" and still no payment from the buyer.  I believe according to eBay's stupid rules that if her royal majesty doesn't pay by tonight - the sale will be canceled and I'll receive a listing credit.  SUPER.  Thanks for your generosity, eBay.  Granted, the bag is still sitting in it's original packaging on the top shelf on my closet but I WANT A PAYMENT!  How am I supposed to buy more designer bags to sell?  And the Labor Day sales are starting too, dammit!  Oh Bloody Hell.

The letter "C"

C.

Words that start with the letter "C"

Hmmm...

Let's see C.

CHLOE

• CRAP!  The leather of a Chloe handbag is crap! Scroll down to see C my next "C" for more on "crap".  I am officially DONE purchasing CHLOE bags.  DONE!  I addressed the leather quality in my last post and have since then SOLD the Black Chloe Paraty Bag.  THANK GOD!  I bid you adieu, Chloe.  We had a so-so run you & I - but it's over.  Don't cry.  You'll ruin your sub-par leather.

Baby Spice may love you, but I don't.

CRAP

• Sometimes it is necessary to buy a knock-off piece of jewelry.  Here's an excellent example: When the one necklace you really, really have your heart set on is $16,000.00 - it's time to look into other options.  No, stripping is NOT an option.  ETSY is always an option.  I bought a "replica" of the gorgeous "Vintage Alhambra Long" necklace by Van Cleef & Arpels from a seller on Etsy that even let me USE A COUPON!  Bless her heart!  Sadly, my necklace had a run in with the dog yesterday and the result was well... ruff. 

Van Cleef & Arpels' necklace: A timelessly elegant piece to be passed down to generations

My Etsy version: Cat toy.

CHANEL

• Guess what finally arrived in the mail?  Mademoiselle, Chanel.  I'll pause for applause....  Enough, enough.  Now, THIS is what I'm talking about when it comes to leather!  Soft, buttery, delicious lambskin leather.  YES!  Thank you CHANEL.  Okay, party's over.  There is a downside.  Actually, a few.  Boo!  The purse is small.  The silver chain shoulder strap isn't as heavy as the gold.  The box quilting leaves me wishing it was diamond quilted.  The interior is fabric lined.  I'll stop there.  "Hey Blogger Bitch!  What is your problem???  It's CHANEL..."  Yes.  And if it was free CHANEL I'd stop complaining.  Standards people, STANDARDS!  For now, it's up for sale - priced to attract a buyer less crazy than myself.  I do believe that I have the option to return it as well but I am not desperate yet.

 Someone read me a bedtime story because I'm zzzzz...

Clearance Couture

What the hell happened, Marc Jacobs?  Yesterday you were designing for Vuitton, today your collection bags are on the clearance rack!  Tough times, huh?  

Back in April I purchased one of his "collection" handbags.  At extraordinarily low prices, who wouldn't buy a "collection" handbag?  Hell, let's get 2 or 3!  Btw, marc by marc jacobs is not collection.  It's his lesser brand.  You've learned something today.  You are welcome. 

    

Upon arrival... sigh.  Come on Marc Jacobs!!!  What the French???  This is all you've got?!!??

In case my readers have realized yet, I'M HARD TO PLEASE.  This bag - which retailed at $1,400.00 - was just "ehh".  Nothing remarkable or shall I say re-marc-able about it.  Just "ehh".  I couldn't return it.  Who returns stolen merch?  Calm down reader... don't call the Feds on me.  I didn't steal it.  Purchasing a "collection bag" at 70% off is stealing.  I can picture poor Marc Jacobs having to eat ramen noodles in his snuggie because he can't afford to dine in the West Village.  All because he sold his collection handbags at 70% off.  Sad, really.  Throw some sriracha on that ramen Marc, it'll be okay.

It is now August and the bag is still unused.  I can hear it crying on the top shelf of my closet... "Oy!  Take me out of the box - I'm suffocating here!"  It has a Jewish accent.  But, I can't.  I can't do it.  The bag doesn't even have a proper zipper closure.  What, are we animals here?  Who doesn't zip their bag?  That's just nuts.

Free of dust, and zippers!

I sold it this week to a women that asked just about 5,000 questions before completely the purchase.  "Why are you selling it so cheap?"  "Where's the dustbag?"  "Do you have a receipt?"  "How do I know it isn't fake?"  

SHUT UP!!!  

Geez...  

People, you can do some research yourself!  Google is a beautiful thing.

I need more tape.  And you'll need a manicure. Mwahh. Ah. Ah.

I'm on my way to the post office.  Hopefully, the new owner of the tote will appreciate it more than I could.  And here's to hoping that Marc's cosmetic line will get him off the couch and back into the limelight.

I have the nail polish too, Marc.

SOLD! Auf Wiedersehen...

Who said flipping handbags is easy? Not me!  It is quite tough actually... I'm so sleepy and surprised that Visa hasn't called yet on suspicion of credit card fraud! 

However, I have had some lovely arm candy in my possession in the past few weeks and it has been brought to my attention that I should chronicle these beauties. Profit or no profit - I will carry the purses! Each and every one!  Here are a few of this week's fabulous pieces of leather artistry....

SOLD!
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD
Derby Yasmin Tartan Satchel
Retail: $830 new
Cost: $125 pre owned
Sold: $150 and carried for one week
Cost to carry: $0.00 (-$25.00 actually)

Quick flip. Being that it isn't leather - but coated canvas, I'm not too crazy about it.  The style is cute but the lack of leather and the petite size were not for moi.  Cheerio Vinienne!

Next...

SOLD!
NEIMAN MARCUS
Blaire Wallet in Green
Retail: $195
Cost: $25 new
Sold: $40 new
NEVER USED.

Isn't this a fancy wallet? I feel like I've seen it before.  You know where I'm going with this.  I had no intention of ever using this Balenciaga knockoff yet purchased it anyway.  Maybe it was the striking color or my obsession with the brand.  I scored a pretty fantastic coupon from Last Call and was able to get this for a steal, $25.00!  I didn't make much on the flip but some woman is very happy with her purchase, I'm sure.

Last but not least...

STILL AVAILABLE....
CHLOE
Paraty in Black
Size: Medium  
Retail: $1,950.00 new
Purchase Price: Dirt Cheap

Pre owned but in super duper excellent condition. 

Chloe is another brand that I have a love/hate relationship with. The designs are striking, yet the execution leaves me wanting more. I feel that for the price of her bags, Chloe girl needs to step up her game!  Leather quality is a huge issue! Don't get me started on how much I despise pebbled leather.  Heh!!!  The Paraty bag continues to be popular, so I feel optimistic about the soon to be selling price. And it is a gorgeous everyday bag.  Okay, okay, I will tone down the hate.  For now it's superb work bag.  SUP-ERB.

And in tomorrow's mail - My first CHANEL bag!  It's better than Christmas Eve.  Stay tuned...

Is Michelle Tanner giving Birkin a run for it's money...

Holy Shiz...

I knew there was a reason that I loved to lounge around the house on hangover Saturdays and watch re-run episodes of Full House!  Uncle Jesse?

No.  Well Maybe.  And D.J's boyfriend, Steve was kinda cute too.

Subconsciously I knew that little Michelle Tanner, aka THE OLSEN TWINS would be designers of one of the most insanely expensive handbag collections ever.  It's true, dude!

The Olsen twins make luxury handbags! Let that process for a second.

Enough.

I present to you...

THE ROW 

(How chic is that? Like front row at fashion week.  Smart, dudes.)

THE ROW was established in 2006 by Ashley Olsen and Mary-Kate Olsen. Since its launch, the brand has expanded to include a range of ready-to-wear, eyewear, and handbags. THE ROW reflects a sense of relaxed and timeless elegance, focusing on fine fabrics and the perfect fit. In 2012, The Council of Fashion Designers of America named Ashley and Mary-Kate as Womenswear Designers of The Year. Part of THE ROW’s mission is to support high-end fashion manufacturing in the US.

And what about the handbags?!?!  They're good.  Really good.  Simple and classic and LEATHER. (Sorry Stella, I ain't buyin' faux. No, no.)

However, there is a downfall.  Let's discuss pricing.  Time to sell a kidney, or two, because these bags are pricey!  Not a cool G pricey either.  Their average selling price... wait for it... $2,500.00.  SHUT UP, DUDE.  No, seriously.  Dude.  Throw on tax and we're talking 3 grand.  Time to get a part time job or a kickstarter account, dude.

I'm not going to go on some tangent about how the twins are out of touch with reality and whatnot.  Who am I do say what they should charge? All I know is that the two best B's in the biz -  Barneys and Bergdorf - carry the handbags.  There they are, THE ROW (i like to say it all breathy - "the rrrr-ohhhh" - it's fun.), sitting next to Tom Ford and Saint Laurent.

Way to make it in fashion, dudes!

Hot Child (goes garage sale shopping) in the City!

Whew... it's hot out there! Welcome to summertime in Chicago!  It's that fabulous time of year where I trade in my jeans for maxi skirts and consume insane amounts of ice cream in an attempt to cool down.

Warmer weather also allows me to indulge in another treat, garage sale shopping!  HOORAY!  What, you may ask, is so exciting about rummaging through other people's crap?  I will tell you... BARGAINS, BITCHES!  A lot of people just do not know the value of the crap stuff piling up in their basements. But I do!!!  One man's trash is surely going to be my treasure.  Let's go shopping!

I will start by saying that normally my family participates in the yearly neighborhood garage sale, however, this year we were given such short notice that we decided to skip it.  That's fine by me... PEOPLE ARE CHEAP!  Moving on...

This year I decided to go out early on the first day of the weekend sales.  Friday morning before work I headed out with cash in my pocket and hunger in my eye.  I need goods, man.  Vintage finds to flip on eBay.  The search was on! 

The first few houses were a total waste of time.  Baby clothes will not sell nor will cookbooks.  A lady desperately tried to talk me into buying her Def Leppard cassette collection but I just couldn't do it.  Vintage yes, but not what I was looking for.

Garage-sale-ing by foot was proving slow so I went home, grabbed the car and went back out.  A car is a good idea because on a hot day like yesterday I was able to stay nicely cool while doing slow drive-bys.  I could also cover a lot more area and in the event that I found a larger item, like a piece of furniture, I could throw it in the back - not on my back. 
Moral of the story... BRING YOUR CAR.

Blah, blah, blah, Karla... what did you buy?  Okay.  Here's a run down of what I found. 
Fun shi... stuff.

Item #1 D-O-G-G. $5.00 
I bought a dog. Haha, not a real dog.  A dog statue for the patio.  It's cute and heavy.  Those things can go for well over $20 at a home goods store.  Ruff!

 

BEWARE OF DOG

Item #2 Picture Frames. 2 for $10.00
My sister likes picture frames.  These frames were super heavy and each had an interesting design.  I knew she would want to spray paint them immediately. 
I also talked them down from $10 each to $5.  BOOM!

 PAINT IT BLACK!

Item #3 Vintage Trunk $20.00
This is why you bring the car!  The gentleman selling the trunk was one of those people who goes to estate sales and buys the whole thing out.  Cool, huh?  He must've had like 15 trunks!  These easily could sell for $75.00 each elsewhere.  I was in need of a table for my fan / cool drink so this is so perfect!  And he gave me the keys too.  Awesome find!

 STORAGE WITH STYLE

Item #4 Rock and Roll Heaven $25.00
On the next stop I found not one, but TWO GUITARS.  I don't need them - but my friend does.  They need a little tlc and some strings (which I got... FOR FREE) The guitars... $12.50 each.  Say what??? SUCH AN AMAZING DEAL!  I even found the electric one on ebay for $175.00.  That's 14 times more than what I paid!

 HELLO, I'M JOHNNY CASH.

 I CALL THIS ONE "MARTY MCFLY"

SAME ONE ON EBAY!!!  CRAZY

 

Item #5 Collectible Phone $10.00
I only picked this up because it reminded me of the television show, Doctor Who.  I don't even watch DW, but I figured some nerd out there would want to buy this phone because it reminded them of their favorite show.  Who knew?  It's collectible!  People are getting $100 easily for them.  And now, mine too is listed for $100.00.  Ridiculous!

HELLO?  WHO'S CALLING?  NERDS.

Total spent $70.00

I feel good about my purchases.  Some I've kept, some I've gifted and the rest will hopefully make me some money.  SO GET OUT THERE!  GO SHOPPING!  Don't be afraid to buy something weird.  Haggle for the best price too and don't forget your car. 

RESALE FAILURE, Easy as Pie!

Remember my fight with Vaunte? My MANGUE YELLOW BALENCIAGA was returned to me by the company after they deemed it unsellable. Well... I called shenanigans and decided to put it up for sale again. I wasn't going to let a little dirt stop me!

This time I used eBay. I know,  I know, I'm obsessed with the site.  I never want to go the eBay route when it comes to B-bags but I know that an eBay listing allows for incredible exposure.  Let's try...

FAIL! BIG. EFFING. FAIL.  WHY KARLA, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?

GUESS WHAT'S BACK!

I'm trying to remain positive about selling to idiots people on eBay but it's so difficult. Oh, so difficult.

Long story short... the "buyer" bought the now infamous dirty yellow handbag for a very reasonable amount.  Buyer receives the bag, complains about the dirt, wants a discount... HELL NO!  Send. It. Back. Bitch.

This bag needs a passport!  I guess it's not meant to be sold.  You and me bag... forever.  I'll never let go!

Feeling frustrated, I grab my fabulous yet dirty purse and go to the grocery store.  I need to bake something!  Baking is a hobby that I enjoy.  It takes precision and patience but the results are often super delicious and most important... I find it relaxing.

Summertime in the city calls for fruit pie.  I want to kick it up a notch so I'll throw some red wine in with the blueberries.  And some cherries. Yes. Wine and fruit pie makin' time... let's drink bake!

A GLASS ALMOST AS BIG AS THE BOTTLE!

Baking is just what I need to forget about all of the resale nonsense.  I can feel all of the stress melting away.  A little of this, some more of that (Wine, of course.  Oooh and ice cream!) and BOOM!  Done.  Both pretty and incredibly tasty.  Success!  Stress?  What stress?  Pie.  Yummm!