OPRAH made me do it.

A brilliant woman once said: "You can have it all, but you can't have it all at the same time."  You know who that woman was?  Me.   OPRAH

Oprah - damn, she's smart.  I guess that is how she owns the entire world became a multibillionaire.  Just the other day I was at the Starbucks drive-thru and saw that Oprah even has her own tea.  Really?  Yes, really.  The Teavana Oprah Chai Tea is supposedly less sweet than Starbucks' original Chai.  There's a joke in there somewhere and now I'm thirsty.

Why am I even talking about O?  Oh O Right, right... the quote.  

In a perfect world I would own every single Balenciaga handbag ever made, in every color, size and material (chevre and agneau leathers).  I would display the purses in glass cases where neither dust nor dog teeth would ever touch them. (My furry friends love to chew on the tassels.  Hey dog... that's about $200 in your mouth!  Let go!)

But, it's not a perfect world.  Oprah isn't my fairy Godmother and I have to sit at my day job for a very long time in order to buy just one Balenciaga handbag.  This is where my dream of owning every b-bag in the whole world ends and I go back to paying bills and living responsibly. 

LIKE HELL IT DOES!

The big O is right!  I can have it all!  Just not at one time.  I have to be creative in order to do so.  I KNOW!  I can sell my purse for a profit and then use that cash to buy another!  Wash, rinse, repeat!  Why didn't I think of this before?  Genius! 

My first thought... I'll sell it on eBay.  On second thought... No, I don't want to do that because some buyers are just really not trust worthy people.  I don't want to deal with any problems that may come up with 'authenticity' claims.  And  refunds?  Forget it!  Who knows if they will even send it back in the same condition - if at all.  No, eBay is not happening.  Not for this bag.

Consignment Store?  Eeek... their commission rate is scary.  Without dropping names - there is a super fabu consignment store out there that takes 40%  - FORTY PERCENT! - of the selling price.  That won't leave me with much to buy a new purse.  Scratch that idea.

Now that I look at it, who is going to buy my kind of newish but really slightly beat up yellow handbag?  I've only had it for a few months and it's looking really a bit dirty.  I can't clean it because the leather doesn't take well to conditioners.  Rat bastard!  Ugh, times are looking glum.

But sometimes, just for fun, I will go online and post all of the designer handbags, wallets, etc that I own for ridiculous prices.  It's a great way to waste time at work and I can see where all of my money goes in just ONE click.  It's like an online closet.  No sane minded person would EVER buy anything because they could just search for a coupon and buy it brand new, for the same price.  So you would think...

Someone BOUGHT THE YELLOW BAG!  Shut the front door!  I'm not kidding.  And the best part is... she paid almost what I paid WHEN I BOUGHT IT NEW.  Stop it!  Totally not kidding.  What the hell would posses someone to do that?  Well, I can think of a few reasons why.  Mainly, I think it's because people just don't care to shop around.  It's like really expensive impulse shopping.  Maybe Oprah is their Godmother.  Who cares! Let's go shopping...

I do not... Let's make this bigger and in bold... I do not pay retail.  That's better.  Come on people, this is the new economy!  Times are hard.  Well... not really. I'm buying designer handbags that cost more than some people's monthly mortgage payment, but I digress.  Let's be smarter about our luxury handbag purchases!  Keep some of that hard earned money for weekend dinners!

With the sunshine yellow handbag gone, where will I go to buy my next fab handbag.  EBAY.  "Wait, what?  I thought you said no eBay.  Didn't I just read no eBay?  I totally just read 'no eBay'.  I'm so confused..."  There, there.  It's okay.  I did say NO EBAY... but only when it comes to selling the handbag.  Ah...  "But what about fakes?  Aren't you scared of knock-offs?  Designer imposters?"  Nope.  It is all about who the seller is.  And that takes research, research, research.  Did you know that some of the Krap inside of the Kardashian Klosets is on eBay?  It's true.  They are.  I've never bought anything from the triple quadruple K, but sometimes I look for entertainment purposes. Mainly it's full of tacky clothes and NO, they do not wear their Sears line.  Shocking!

With some thought and research, I decided on a Balenciaga Arena Classic Pompon bag in black with Giant Silver Hardware.  It's definitely bigger than the Part Time and A LOT heavier.  But the design allows for lighter wear on the edges, (round base instead of rectangle) and the color will not show dirt.  HOO-RAY!  And the best part... it's in pristine condition and the retail value surpasses my last one (hello, resale!)  Oh, did I mention, it's USED.

Yep.  USED.  

And who cares?!?!  I just saved a boat load of money and the bag is new to me.  I love it so much that I may name it.  Drive it around in a car-seat and save for it's college tuition!  That, my friends, is the story of how Oprah became a gazillionaire.  No it isn't.  But inspiring, nonetheless.