Ring, Ring... JONATHAN ADLER? It's D.I.Y. calling

Lately, I have A LOT of free time at the office.  With all of this down time I find myself enjoying one of my most loved hobbies... ONLINE SHOPPING.  What's not to love?  Endless options.  No salespeople, rude people, or parking-spot-stealing people to deal with.  Free shipping.  And coupon codes!  COUPON CODES!!!  It's the best.

Yesterday, I found myself on Bloomingdales.com after they enticed me with sale offerings of as much as 70% off!  Hello!  I'm there.

I've been doing some redecorating at home so I went to the SALE - HOME section first.  What do I need... KitchenAid Stand Mixer?  No.  Dyson vacuum?  Already have it.  Ikat Collection Oriental Rug, sale priced at $4,199.75?  Who needs that?  People that don't own pets, shoes, or brains for that matter.

I'm so uninspired.  I guess I don't need anything... BOO!  Oh, what's that?  That's cute...  A white ceramic smartphone holder by Jonathan Adler in the style of a rotary phone. Cheeky!  I WANT IT!  Put it in the cart!  Wait.  $60.00?!?  For what???  It doesn't even charge my phone!  I can't buy it.  I won't buy it.  Oh, but it's so cute.   

I close down the site, disappointed.  Dammit, I can totally use that phone holder!  Right now my phone just sits on my nightstand waiting for me to spill my wine water on it or drop it to the floor.  I will find this crazy cute phone holder for a cheaper price!  I frantically search eBay with no success.  I'm able to find it on other websites - even Jonathan Adler's - for a lesser amount but without a coupon code or free shipping, it still ends up at $60.00.  This is not my day.  

After work I went for cocktails dinner with my sister.  We talked about our love of obsession with Pinterest and decided it would be fun to run around the craft store with a slight buzz happy feeling.  I've been wanting to spray paint something a random color - like Veuve Yellow - for a while. The champagne's label is a very distinct color, not quite yellow not quite orange, it's lovely. 

I find two colors that are similar-ish and throw them into the cart.  Now, I just need something to paint.  I want something random, like a llama.  A brightly hued silly looking animal as a statement piece is just what I need to complete the room!

No llamas here.  Strolling a wee bit sideways through the aisles, I stumble upon the clearance section.  Is there a greater word in the English language than CLEARANCE?  I don't think so.  A mercury glass vase gets thrown into my cart.  I see ceramic owls and birds but decide to pass on those.  Just as I'm leaving the aisle I see a retro looking rotary style phone.  $9.99.  I'm in a store that has SPRAY PAINT and a VINTAGE PHONE TCHOTCHKE.  Do you see where I'm going with this???  Bingo!

I run back to the spray paint section, return the yellow-orange cans and pick up a can of white and clear gloss.  Oh... this is so on!  I also found a package of small wooden blocks and a thin piece of plywood.  Total cost, about $20.00 (and... I looked up the 40% off one item coupon on my phone, thankyouverymuch).  Time to get CRAFTY!

 

BEFORE

Let's get started... This is the part of the diy project that was a bit tricky... ASSEMBLING THE PHONE HOLDER.  I used copious amounts of glue - both GORILLA and ELMERS - to adhere the wood blocks onto the phone.  After the glue dried, tiny nails were used to secure the plywood backing onto the blocks.  Sounds super easy, right?  No.  Not. At. All.  There was a lot of trial and error, including forgetting to leave enough room between the blocks for the phone cord.  Wow, I am so not an engineer.  On the pain-in-the-ass-o-meter, it was a solid 7.4. 

READY FOR PAINTING

Good thing it's a gorgeous day for painting!  After 2 coats of white Krylon and a coat of clear gloss, I left my masterpiece to sunbathe for the day... shoo flies, the paint is sticky!  A note about spray painting: don't try to cover the object completely in paint on the first coat.  Drip, drip, drip.  That's a messy look.  I made that mistake, oops.

 FINISHED!

The original rough finish of the phone made for some not so sleek lines but overall I am pleased with the result.  It is both cute and a functional addition to my nightstand.  More importantly, over $40.00 saved (66.6% for those counting - mainly the DEVIL) enough for a few rounds of drinks or some more home decor.  Suck it, Adler!

IF ONLY THIS THING COULD ANSWER ITSELF.

THE END.